Ugh...Christmas (eve)

So, it was a year ago today that we learned our little one was gone. Needless to say, I have not been very excited about Christmas this year. I don't have a tree up or lights on the house. No decorations inside and the stocking will get hung because I have to. I did manage to put the wreath on the door.

I went to church tonight. I realized that I have gone to church every Christmas of my life, other than last year. I missed one out of 26 years.

Tomorrow I will put on a nice big smile and host my in-laws and my mom and step dad. I will cook dinner and laugh and act like everything is fine.

Ugh...I can't wait for it to be January already.